What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 18.06.2025 03:10
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
While emptying a house, have you ever seen something in it that blew your mind?
She was in good health!
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
How do we greet in German, French, Spanish, and Italian?
I was very sick at this time too.
Comes on , in middle age.
Who then, do I blame.?
I know ,a lot about trauma.
When she asked me how she looked .
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
AMD reportedly preparing Ryzen 7 9700F 8-core processor - VideoCardz.com
I did it because my mum asked me too!
Im still living with it.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
In bed, not in music, which is better, a drummer or a bass player?
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
The Fog of Trade War Is Causing Confusion About Price Increases - WSJ
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
She loved him until the end.
What do you think, TikTok is nothing but another porn site? Do you agree or not? Why?
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
What is your most erotic sex story?
I will be 64.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ NEW WOMAN - analysis ˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
Is the Las Vegas Grand Prix considered one of the "premier events on the Formula 1 calendar?"
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
I was 9 years of age.
Why is the government destroying the homeless instead of helping them?
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
I had hoped to write a book about this .
What should every American know before traveling to the UK?
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
He was dying to do it , i knew.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
Have you ever regretted not hitting on a older women?
Im dying but, im not bitter.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
We all went to grammer schools
I couldn’t, believe it.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
He knew the spot.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
Would this be the day?
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
I think the readers, may guess!
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
And i lived it daily.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
She married twice! .
It was going to be , some day.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
Was to survive, this bastard.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
Why did i forgive my father ?
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
This is how, and why children get BPD.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
And who doesn’t know suffering?
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
One cannot live in the past .
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
All the time i was locked up.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
My life is so biszare .
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
But, we were locked up after school.
This is soul school!.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
I never cut or harmed myself..
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
Put me off passion for life!!
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
I don,t even have a pension.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
But ive been too sick for many years..
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
But it wasn’t much.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
My family never makes their pension either.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
I was seconnd youngest,
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
As i do to all so called friends.?
I was scared of men, in general
I could never make a relationship work though!
I write beautiful poetry .
She found it foreign!.
We were not on the streets..
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
So, i spoilt her more .
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
I waited trembling.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
I have no regrets .
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
I said to her
Where the ultimate outsiders.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
(And it was in our own minds.)
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
The only rule us 5 kids had .
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
What did i know ?
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
Especially a lifetime of it.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
She wouldn,t have been !
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
Ive learnt so much.
So whats the point in blame.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
He resisted the act ,that day.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.